Father

How do I break free
From the lies that spewed from your mouth
For all I ever wanted to be
Was your daughter
Each year and each day of each month
For all I wanted was a father
Supported in love and understanding
Someone who is never bending
Instead I got to taste my own blood
At the fist of the woman you called wife
Forever testing my faith in God
For you were entrusted as the protector of my life
Intead I got vile looks and cruel words
Your anger, self hatred and manipulations
Stealing my youth and faith in men
You did things no father should ever do
Blamed a child instead of looking at you
Hurting a boy for your own sexual exploration
Insulting your daughters with labels and lies
Forever imprinted, impacting all our lives
How do I know who real men are?
For all I hear are your lies, bearing your scars
I don't ever want a man like you
I have lived for too long in pain, just as you do
I want to break free from this vicious grip
I refuse to be the image of you
I want to know true love without the lies
To be trusted, seen and cared for unconditionally
No more games, I reclaim my life.
You are not sorry, for you deny
All that was done, ruining our lives
You cannot stand to see your own reflection
I have lived for too long
In the shadows of your deception
Cowards, liars and theives
Wasting my time, robbed me of security
I do not like the reflection I see
For its mirror shows the imprint of you
All your issues and insecurities
Destroying all the goodness found in youth
How do I change this toxicity?
This programming, all your negativity?
How do I change and close my heart?
How do I find my way, alone in the dark?
You were suppose to be my dad
The protector, defender and provider of your seed
To show me all these things
Instead I am left here alone
Holding my inner child's hand
Angry, frightened, fearful and sad
For the wounds you created, still bleed
For I lost a mother but my father
Still you couldn't never be